So…it’s mid-March already! Um, when did that happen?!?! The first quarter of our year has been unrelentingly busy with so many commitments, events, business trips, business realignments and transitions, changing and expanding roles and on top of that trying to make friends and family a priority and giving our children and our little family unit time to rest and relax as well as adventure and explore. So, it has been busy to say the least! Some days I would even say overwhelming. Recently I was having some time with God and to be honest, I was begging him for wisdom as to how to balance the whole work/family/life thing because I feel like I have been…well…failing :(
One of my greatest concerns lately is that my nearly 3 year old son has finally given up his day sleep. That’s not the concern…the concern is that THAT was my God time! While my two little ones slept I would bathe in my time alone with God, in his Word, in worship, in prayer, in his presence, whatever…just being with him! So since Hugo has now outgrown his day sleep I have struggled to transition myself into a different routine where I can tend to my family, our business and my own personal life without having this daily window of time all to myself anymore.
I was crying out to God in the midst of this challenge, telling him that I desperately missed our lengthy moments together where I would worship, praise, thank and glorify him and he would ignite, refuel, strengthen and inspire me. I was specifically asking for wisdom as to how I was supposed to spend time alone with him now that I no longer have ‘time alone.’ In the midst of this prayer I had a beautiful and unusually long encounter with him. In this vision he revealed many keys of wisdom to me that are to unlock some personal areas in my life. But he also showed me a beautiful vision which I believe is for every mother (and father!) out there who is struggling to find the ‘alone’ time with Him.
In this encounter I saw a beautiful table set for an intimate dinner for two. Very intimate! It was intricately set with the most gorgeous decorations, the most valuable cutlery, crockery, glassware and utensils, the most divine floral arrangements, vintage wines and degustations that would put Michelin starred chefs to shame ;) Suddenly I stood before this candle lit dinner table in the most elegant white evening dress. I felt a million dollars!!! I felt more beautiful than I did even on my wedding day as I stood there in this stunning dress that was exactly my taste, my style, my fashion – me! This entire set up is a huge testament to my love language and my own personal interests and joys. I love food, I love fine dining, I love getting dressed up and being wined and dined. My biggest love language is quality time spent, so to see all of these things coming together in one moment was absolutely singing to my soul.
Then I saw him. A ruggedly handsome, strong man standing in the shadows with a dapper dinner suit on. No, it wasn’t my husband! But it was my lover…my Saviour, my Lord. He pulled out my chair and came towards me, took me gently by the hand and led me to the table set just for me, just for us.
“Come dine with me” he whispered in his warm, deep voice, sending shivers down my spine.
“Come and join me and dine with me as we feast together in intimacy. You don’t need to worry about anything at my table, I will take care of it all while you eat. Eat with me. Drink with me. Eat from me. Drink from me. Come, be with me. I am waiting, I am desiring your presence. I know you are busy, I know you have commitments and a family who needs you, I know you have little lives to build, I know you are time poor in this season of your life, but come be with me.
Come dine with me. I have prepared a table just for you. No matter what is going on around you just come and be here with me, take a seat and rest in me. Amongst the day, amongst the kids, amongst the business, amongst the chaos, amongst the chores, amongst the lists that need to be done, escape them and come dine with me. Join me at my table, come be with me and I will provide for you. Open your eyes and see the abundant banquet I have set before you. Eat! Nourish yourself on my Word, drink of my Spirit and Feast on my revelation.
Seek me. Seek me amongst the daily grind. Seek me in the midst of it all. Seek me, pursue me and you will find me. I am here, I am found in the quiet places amongst the loud noise of life. I am waiting for you, I have a table set for you, a beautiful, romantic, intricate table waiting for you to join me. Just you and me. Amongst it all, will you come dine with me?”
I am found in the quiet places amongst the loud noise of life
I came away from this encounter full. Full to the brim, in fact, so full I was overflowing! I was full from feasting, yet I was more hungry than ever! Hungry for more of him!
Since this vision I haven’t had any ‘time to myself.’ Not physically alone anyway, but I have escaped to dine with my lover in the midst of the beautiful chaos of life. I have taken any opportunity. When you are genuinely starving you will take whatever you can get! Sometimes that looks like standing in my kitchen in the middle of dinner prep with a baby strapped to me with my hands in the air worshipping God to the music blaring from the iPad because that’s the only moment I can seize. Sometimes it looks like sitting on the floor amongst matchbox cars, toy trains and action figurines with my kids playing around me while I try and feast on the Word. Sometimes it looks like endeavouring to read just one chapter of a book while trying to block out the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song. Sometimes it’s standing in the middle of the living room praying in tongues being continually disrupted (in a welcomed way!) by little people’s questions, statements, urgent needs, cries, laughter and everything in between. I’m certain God understands, in fact, I’m certain he loves it ;) Last week I was journalling early one morning – I think the television was on, the kids were playing/laughing/making noise – and my husband said to me “How can you do that with all this noise around you?” Without even thinking the words spilled from my lips…”It’s either this, or nothing at all.” That was a bookend to my revelation and encounter that I didn’t even realise until I said it. I may not have the perfectly quiet and totally alone times like I used to have, but I’ll take whatever I can get, because if I wait around for the perfect conditions I’m going to miss out on a wonderful reservation in the grand dining hall of heaven!
I was full from feasting, yet I was more hungry than ever!
I’m aware of the seasons of life, and I know all is not lost forever. I also know it’s a work in progress and I need to have a new wine skin for this new wine God is pouring into my life. I also need to be fluid and flexible to flow with the Spirit and with the seasons of life and whatever they throw at me. Who knows how long this will last, all I know is that I’m taking whatever I can get – I’m starving and I want to FEAST! However, whatever, whenever! It’s this…or nothing. And while it may not be ideal, it’s kinda perfect ;)